"The Stoic"
there’s a rose blanket
on my bed
a gift given to me
that last night on the street
dude bade me buena suerte
and walked away
funny thing, me
kicked off the Greyhound
for extreme vomiting
in the moving bathroom
and I never argued
just walked away
been to jail enough
16-inch blocks of beige painted stone
so thick you can peel off the stuff
bunkie wrote Silvers on the wall
Rooster wrote Lost Dog
and I felt God hold me
in the still night
in the pathos
in the foresight
we were far gone on
Effexor and Buspar
in the shakedown
final head count
lost four years of life
that's over
I haven't had a soup in years
my apartment on Front Street is
fireworks and
jumping demons
dreaming of
a place
where I’m finally okay
this desk is IKEA
putting it together was a breeze
plastic hands hold my water bottle
orgone pyramid for a pretty shape
got my grandmother’s old lamp
her mirror
still hangs on the wall behind me
and acted, very briefly
as an interdimensional portal
I did
however
wash the glass of the sun gate
and run the obligatory
apo pantos kakodaimonos
and smoke bundles of sage
put my own face to the mirror
and screamed change!
you ever do that?
hold yourself hostage
and say something like
I’ll smash your ass if you don’t GROW UP
now look at me
chalked up a new chance at the horse race
a spirit scores for the faithless tonight
if I had a soul, bet he got it
with blood and archaic lettering
egregore gibberish divine
a chance that I had
turned around and had me
and we tried our luck on each other
not classically, though—
long time ago, that was such a long time ago
now this new age
view from above business I got on
takes a bit longer to get the check
but it’s all about sustainability
and the angels pay more
as long as I'm
up at dawn to watch the sunrise
up at dawn to smile
up at dawn to say,
"Now this--yes this. This is what I'm made for."
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